I honestly dont know why I do this to myself. Im talking about following thru with anything that involves my side of the family. My mom and I decided to host this Arbonne party for a dear friend of mine. My mom was all about it. Thought it would be something fun for us to do. Together. Well, it was the furthest thing from fun.
This past Friday we got back from visiting College Station. I asked her to watch the kids after church so my in-laws could leave and drive home. She said that was fine. Im a BIG planner by the way. I think everything is going great. Here was my first mistake. I didnt call her on Sunday morning to remind her that she was going to be keeping the kids after church. We shortly after church services in College Station, I get this text from Andy (father-in-law) that my mom was acting like she had no idea what was going on but kept them anyway. When I called her she said I had told her something completely different. So that put her in a bad mood. After six very long hours in the car we got home. When we got in, the kids were already asleep (a first by the way when my mom watches them. We went on and on about all the places we saw and the positive things about College Station. She acted totally intersted. As soon as Aaron excused himself from the room, she told me that she had talked to Melaney (my much younger sister that dropped out of high school and is now living with my dad). She said Melaney sounded ok. I know what that means. It means that my sister did it again. Melaney has this amazing talent to make every situation depressing. I told my mom I thought it was great that finally after a YEAR of not speaking with her, that Melaney had called her. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday came and went without a hitch. Although, I did get an e-mail from my mom stating I needed to forgive Melaney of all her wrong doing and be a good big sister. Whatever that means. I sent a reply that I know was NOT what my mom wanted to read.
So today, hours before this party, she calls me and starts to pull this, "Are you sure Lyz wants to do this? My appartment isnt big enough.", thing. I knew what she was trying to do. Something in my gut told me to cancel but I did I listen? Of course not. I insisted with continuing with the party.
I thought it would be fun to take the kids swimming while we were there. Before everyone showed up. My thinking behind that was, I will get them tired, feed them and then pop in a movie and they will fall asleep. The swimming was a blast! My mom showed up at the pool. She seemed tense (tense being the nicest word I could use). We ventured upstairs. Now, I know my mom is a "Neat Freak", but today was different. She was a person I hadnt seen in about a year. As soon as we got to her front door, we had to take our shoes off. ok. Fine. We walked in. I knew she would not want the kids running around wet, so I hearded them off to the bathroom to take a bath. That seemed like the good choice. After they got out, the were hungry. We fed them. Although, somehow, I have to get it through Aaron's head that Lunchables is not quite a big enough dinner (espeically after swimming). Needless to say they ate. Logan went to grab a movie like he always does when they are there (Why? becuase they cant do anything when they are there). Mom started freakin out. "Oh Logan, dont touch those. You will get your finger prints all over them.", as if they were gold. They are just DVDs. She didnt let up the rest of the night.
Aaron left to go to San Antonio for a meeting. Lucky. Lyz finally showed up 15 minutes late. I was thinking about calling her and canceling but for whatever reason I didnt. Before I could gather the guts to call and cancel, she shows up. NO turning back now. We get started with the party. The kids are playing but they are being kids and they start to jump and rough house (which would normally be fine but my mom lives in an appartment and she has downstairs neighbors and that kind of play is a NO-NO). Not only that but Logan is going thru this phase right now. He kept smackin Kendra's butt. "Why me? Why now?", is all I could think. My mom thinks the kids play "wierd". So anyway, I told Kendra to stop letting Logan smack her butt. I was telling Kendra this in my mom's bedroom. My mom soon walks in. She starts to tell me about how I shouldnt be doing this, and how tired the kids are and not to get onto Kendra. Blah, Blah, Blah. I told mom that I wasnt going to do this with Lyz here and she turned away from me and mumbled somehting under her breathe. The rest fo the night, if the kids would touch something, she would cringe and act as if she lived in a glass house.
My mom can be so materialistic. I know she doesnt have much because of the divorce (she told me stories for years about how she had to sell everything she owned just to fed us kids). But Im talkin about an alarm clock, the sample make-up products and so-on. I couldnt take it anymore. I just started praying we would wrap pretty soon so the kids and I could bail. Thank you Lord. We finally left her house.
All the way home, I couldnt help but feel equally sad and boiling mad. Mad because, my mom hadnt talked to my sister in almost a year and in that year, my mom was starting the healing process. Sad because, all it took was 2 phone calls from Melaney to fall right back in that rut. My sister had this way of just pissing my mom off and making mom become this person I didnt know. I saw that person inside my mom tonight. It kills me. I dont understand why she cant see that.
I can sympathise with my mom to a certain degree because I have children of my own now, but the other; my mom never had siblings. She has no idea just how well Melaney can work her. That, that right there; kills me.
I told Aaron if things were going to return to the way they were before, I was done. Done pretending. This is my family. Take it or leave it. Right now,.... Im going to bed.
