Wedding Song

For the people that know me, Yall know how much Im against the whole lovey-dovey thing. Well,...I cant help it gush when I hear the song Everything by Lifhouse. That song was the song I walked down too when Aaron and I got married. I was only 20 years old. I didnt want the normal wedding march you hear all the time. I wanted something that I thought truly described my feelings about Aaron and the journey i was about to embark on. Its been almost 6 years since that day but I cant help but tear up everytime I hear it. Its on my new MP3 player. Its suppose to be used when Im in the gym working out. Well Aaron put that song on there for me and as much as I love it, I cant work out!! I just cry and think about that day and rejoice for what the LORD has given my through Aaron. I wanted to share the lyrics with everyone. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Find me here and speak to me
I want to feel you I need to hear you
You are the light that’s leading me to the place
Where I find peace again
You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the light to my soul
You are my purpose
You’re everything
And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this
You calm the storms and you give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won’t let me fall
You still my heart and you take my breath away
Would you take me in take me deeper now
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this
Cause you’re all I want, you’re all I need
You’re everything…..everything
You’re all I want
You’re all I need
You’re everything……everything
You’re all I want
You’re all I need
You’re everything…everything
You’re all I want
You’re all I need
Everything…Everything
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be any better and this
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be any better any better than this
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this

Are you kidding me? Here we go again!

I have no idea what to say. I was talking to Matthew and apparently he and Ashley have been talking. No biggy. They have kids together. See but heres my problem. They are getting a divorce if it is not already final. Ashley has left Matthew twice. Now I hear rumors that Ashley is wanting to get back together with Matthew for a 3rd time. I cant not believe this. I would like to think Matthew is smarter than that but maybe he isnt. After Ashley left this last time I told Matthew to move on. He didnt deserve that from someone like her. Someone that goes off gets knocked up comes back to only leave AGAIN. No!! Move on Matthew. I understand they have kids together but I have heard from a very reliable souce that Ashley only ever sees those kids when it is good for her. Because you know GOD forbid, she spend time with the children she bore. But hey, who am I to judge. I just think it is boggus. She is probably broke and about to get kicked out on her butt. It really saddens me to think that some people can manipulate other people to that degree. I hope for the betterment of the children (understanding the situation) Matthew will move on and let her fall and learn from her mistakes. Im not saying not let her be a part of their lives, but she chose to leave. Twice. Why would you even consider letting her come back. I dont know what to think. I know this is probably none of my business but I just wonder about the kids well being. If Matthew and Ashley are going to be this selfish (again, you would have to understand the situation) those boys, my nephews, dont need to be with them. They are not mentally stable enough to raise them. Im probably talking out of turn but I dont really care. I just care too much about Matthew and those boys to see this happen again.

Here lately

My dad came over last night for dinner. It was his 60th birthday. WOW!! I cant believe my dad is 60!!! Why does his age make me feel so old? It was nice. We hadnt spoke in awhile due to my sister but the company he works for is going to e sending him down for a couple of months and we thought it would be good for us to get reconnected. Funny how we, father and daughter have to "reconnect".
Normally when we are together things are great! But our relationship is so fragile that any little thing will send it into shut down mode. It is kinda sad really but it works for us. I dont think my mom likes it that we are talking. For awhile things were good between them. That was until Melaney did what she did. Now they wont even say the other ones name. Ive watched my mom and dad grow old right in front of my eyes.
This world could come to an end any moment. I want to be ready. I think this is my way of showing Christ like love. Loving my mom and dad thru it all and maybe that will show them that whatever problems they have with each other they did to put them aside and move on.
It was fun last night. The kids love seeing my dad and I think it makes my dad's world seeing them and the kids having fun when he is around.

My mom just found out that her brother has colon cancer. She has been going thru alot lately and when she found out that Melaney was in town for dad's birthday and didnt stop by to say hi to her made her feel horrible. That's putting it nice. I pray my mom will be able to find comfort in the LORD right now.

Kendra is reading and becoming more beautiful every day. Logan is getting so big and doesnt cry anymore when I drop him off at day care. Well, he does cry if his pacifier is in his mouth. But thats okay.

Aaron is kicking ass and taking names at work. He is working so hard. I pray for the LORD to lift him up and keep him strong. I recently started torturing myself at my local school gym. I hate that I have let myself go. But the Im taking the first step to fixing what I dont like. I have a way to go and I will get there.

One on One time & Family time

I am always struggling with, "Am I spending enough time with each kid individually"? I think Friday was my anwser. Thursday are short days for me in school so I decided I wanted to keep Logan with me so I could take him with me to my MOPS meeting. So I went to class and picked Logan up from Aaron and we went to the meeting. We got there and I found out the speaker of the morning was going to be a lady that is over the MOPPETS program for the meetings. She asked Logan to go with her after the discussion and much to my surprise, he went. I had at great time at the remainder of the meeting. Afterwords, we did some shopping and went to pick up sissy. Friday morning I dropped him off at day-care and went to school. After I was done I called Aaron to see how everything was going (because Aaron takes Kendra on the route with him when she is not in school). He said he got finished early and they were headed to the park. I met them at the park and right as I got there Aaron got swamped with phone calls and orders so it just left me and Kendra to play. It was awesome!! I pushed her on the swing for almost 30 minutes and we went down the slide at least a dozen times. We played hide and seek over and over again. After we had exhausted ourselves, Kendra suggested Jason's Deli for lunch (the kid eats better than I do). The three of us went to lunch and had a great time. We left to pick up brother and then went home. This morning (Saturday), the four of us hung out and watched Scooby-Doo while eating breakfast. I use to feel obligated to do some kind of craft with them because I was often told "letting your kids watch TV is BAD for them". I cant speak for everyone, but sometimes, I just want to do nothing and just RELAX. So we, our family, did just that today. For the first time in a long time. We did absolutly nothing. And you know what? It was nice and my kids were happy and they still have the use of their brains. And Aaron and I gained some sanity back.

What do I do?

i really dont know what to think of this. we have some friends that are going thru a really hard time right now. He has been cheating on her for the last year and she just gave birth to their 3rd child. she wont leave him because she feels like she is doing the right thing by giving him another chance. they have tried marriage counseling and that apparently didnt work. now they want to move to somewhere remote to get away from everyone. well my genius sister-in-law and another friend of ours, suggested theh move down here. in fact, right next door to us (my in-laws are moving out of town and they would let them live in the house and just pay the utilities). On one hand I think Aaron and I could help them but on the other hand I dont want to burder of helping. does that make sense? am i a bad person? Aaron and i are around so many couples that are having a hard time right now and need help. we dont want to live right next door to a couple struggling. Aaron feels that if the guy did or said something, he would have to intervene as do i. we want to help her and the kids but i dont know if i could be a big enough person and really whole heartedly want to help the guy. I know i probably should but this (as many of yall may know) hits close to home. I have no remorse for people that cheat on their spouses. and im kinda upset that she is willing to drag her kids thru this painful time. im praying right now for GOD's wisedom to come oaver me and point me in the right direction.