Thinking

I cant help but notice the dullness in Kendra's eyes here recently. I dont know if it is from all the stress she is under with and at school or if she is really NOT liking attending class at all. When we ask her, she says that she like school and wants to stay but when you look at her, so much has changed. She has bags under her eyes (could be from the lack of sleep since her and Logan are forced to share a room right now), her chin is breaking out (maybe from stress), and she has developed this habit of chewing on the sleeves of her shirts or the neckline of her shirts. I have no idea what is going on. Kendra has always been very happy and full of energy. To a certain extent she still is but there is just something different about her. Something that I cant put my finger on just yet. I was telling Aaron this morning that it reminds me of him while he worked for Ben E. Keith. He just looked lifeless. Im seeing that in Kendra right now.

Of course, as a parent I feel like Im to blame in some sort of weird way. We love out little girl and I dont think we are "losing our grip on her" but Im not happy with where we are right now. Ive expressed my disappointment with the school and the way situations have been handled. Ive also told them that Kendra will remain in school until the first of the year. If Aaron and I feel things are not changing we will formally withdraw her and place her in a private school. Even if that means I have to get a job to help pay for it.

The whole situation is very sad. There are so many kids Kendra goes to school with that have parents that just dont give a damn about them. There was one mother that told me to my face that her child was not her responsibility when he was at school and she wasnt going to do anything to change what she was going to do at home with him. That almost made me cry on the spot. I could not believe that a parent would say that. The last thing we want is for Kendra (or Logan) to grow up in a bubble. We understand that they will be exposed to many things growing up. That's life. We

Maybe I have unrealistic ideas of how all parents raise their kids. This has been a huge wake up call for us. A Kendra's parents we have the responsibility to do the right thing by our child. If certain things are affecting her learning we have the power to make the situation better and maybe my moving her into a different room or school all together will be the answer.